"Me" Withdrawal

For the past few weeks, I’ve been kind of out of it and I could not put my finger on what was weighing so heavily on my mind. I figured that it was because I had been praying and asking God for clarity on a lot of different things and it seemed as though He was not responding. So this morning when I asked Him to show me what my problem was, He brought this verse to my mind:

"He must increase, but I must decrease. [He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.]” John 3:30 (AMP)

And then He said, “I’m working you out.”

My problem, He said, is that my contentment is addicted to me. The thing about addictions is that they are not sustainable or fulfilling. In order to be happy, I have to realize my goals and fulfill all of my wants….emphasis on “my.” I always seek God’s will…but I am often guilty of trying to assist Him. My problem isn’t that there are a lot of things on my mind that are overwhelming me. As He is working me out, I seem to be experiencing “me” withdrawal. Luke 9:23 (AMP) says:

“And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also].”

Many of us have ideas of what we want out of life, coupled with an insatiable thirst to get our way. But God wants us to be that way with Him…He does not want us to be satisfied until we get His way. It’s always better that way. The whole time that I’ve fixed my mind on what I want, God is saying to me, “is that all you want??? I have much bigger in mind.” The goals and dreams that we have for ourselves are something like boundaries…they are not enough to contain the vast variety of goodness that God has for us. If you look past them, you will see that God operates in and occupies that space of possibilities that exist beyond your wildest dreams. The above verse continues:

“He Who comes from above (heaven) is [far] above all [others]; he who comes from the earth belongs to the earth, and talks the language of earth [his words are from an earthly standpoint]. He Who comes from heaven is [far] above all others [far superior to all others in prominence and in excellence].” John 30:31 (AMP)

It’s mind-blowing to know that I have a Savior who is all of that…and He wants to replace all of me with Him. Whenever I find myself feeling like I have been lately, the number one piece of advice from those close to me is to, “Trust God.” Learning to say “no” to myself, empty my heart’s tank and fill it with Him is the bottom line. I’ve always known this, but now I have more clarity on what it means to do that. I’ll keep you posted on the journey…